Some time has passed since the "Mithkabob Crash," the crisis that shook the very foundations of the culinary world. This, of course, points to the recent phenomenon of gourmet adventurers moving towards exotic dishes such as curry and sushi, causing a deep plunge in the once gargantuan market share of mithkabobs.
So what is the general guideline that adventurers now follow when preparing or eating a meal? We posed this question to Ranpi-Monpi, high-ranking member of the Culinarians' Guild, world-renowned chef, and owner of the Timbre Timbers Tavern*.
"When adventurers come by zee guild kitchen, zey usually ask what zey should make to improve zeir skill, or maybe some synthesis support," the chef said. "But now, we are also starting to get zee questions like 'What can I make zat will sell?'"
"Zee kind of dishes zat adventurers want depends greatly on zeir jobs," Ranpi-Monpi continued. "When you decide on a menu, you should already have a specific job een mind zat you want to cater to."
The master chef says that the general effect of food on the body can be surmised from what category it falls under.
"Adventurers who use zeir physical skills to fight usually like meat and fish, mages seem to have a--how do you say-'sweet tooth.'"
The restaurant's name changes according to the time of day (other names include "Cerulean Stairs" and "Bridge of Dreams").
"Adventurers should carefully consider zee size of a dish when deciding how many zey want to carry with zem. Zee effects are basically determined by zee skill level required and zee cost of ingredients, but zere are other things to keep een mind. You should always think about which dish eez best suited for your situation."
"For example, let us say you come to my bistro and see zee relatively inexpensive grilled hare and zee more bourgeois boiled cockatrice on sale."
"If you are a warrior zat eez just starting out fighting hares, your hand may go towards zee boiled cockatrice to impress your friends. But een reality, zee grilled hare would actually provide a more cost-effective punch during a fight."
"On zee other hand, if you are a veteran warrior zat can go--how do you say--toe-to-toe with a cockatrice, zen maybe you do need a larger meal like zee boiled cockatrice to stay satisfied."
Would this mean that the ingredients used in a dish have innate qualities that determine the effect?
"Yes, zee ingredients do influence zee effect. Zee most obvious example eez mushrooms. Mushrooms have certain mystical properties where if a person eez to eat zem, he exudes a certain scent zat puts zose around heem at ease. But of course, zis isn't zee case with all mushroom dishes, so you must be careful!"
Ranpi-Monpi reminds us that certain mushroom recipes such as the Goblin mushpot actually remove the innate properties of mushrooms through the combination of ingredients.
"Too much emphasis on zee nutritional value may be zee problem," the chef explained. "Goblin dishes often require a lot of different ingredients and are notoriously unbalanced. Zee essence of zee ingredients eez lost somewhere along zee way."
"Ah, zat reminds me! I discovered zee other day zat flounder meuniere has an effect similar to most mushroom dishes. Zat is a mystery, eh?"
It seemed that even first-rate chefs of the Culinarians' Guild did not have all the answers to the wonders of cooking. I asked Ranpi-Monpi if there were any other unsolved mysteries he had encountered.
"Zere eez too many to count! For example, I often eat zee crackers and chocolates and such. Zey do not really fill my stomach at all, but it appears zat zey do have some effect on zee body... When I collect zee sufficient funds, I am going to ask zee Rhinostery to investigate."
Ranpi-Monpi, culinarian extraordinaire. Always ready to serve you with a smile. For my final question, I asked what he himself would eat if he were an adventurer.
"Hmm... Considering zee benefits to zee people I am traveling with, I would like to think zat I would choose what to eat based on effectiveness, but I would not force myself to eat anything I was not een zee mood for. In zee end, I would probably change what I ate based on zee weather zat day, how I was feeling, and so on. I would always be eating something--zat is for certain."
"I mean, what is zee point of eating anything if you do not enjoy it, eh?"