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The Mog House Next Door
#1 Here come the Mog House Raiders!
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The Mog House--A sanctuary where adventurers can escape the toils of everyday life, if but for a short while.

Funded and operated by the government of each nation as a part of the conquest campaign, Mog Houses are provided to adventurers free of charge, and may be furnished in any way their residents see fit. However, Mog Houses are managed quite strictly, and even the closest of friends are forbidden from entering each other's Mog House.

Recently, we heard a rumor that some adventurers are using this no-visitation policy as an excuse to keep their Mog Houses in disarray. Thus, two brave souls who proclaimed themselves the "Mog House Raiders" were dispatched to infiltrate the homes of unsuspecting adventurers.

Liliana (AKA Lili)

Elvaan female

Her father is a famed furniture craftsman. She is not only versed in the value and layout patterns of furniture, but she also has a keen eye for current trends.

Paruda-Moruda

Tarutaru male

He is a researcher of elemental energy in furnishings. He possesses vast knowledge of Moghancements, but his personality leans towards the aggressive side.

Paruda-Moruda: So we call ourselves the Mog House Raiders, but security is so tight, we might not be able to sneak in.

Lili: Hmm... Perhaps we can ask for a little moogle assistance.

Paruda-Moruda: All rightaru, leave it to me.

Paruda-Moruda casts Bind.

The moogle is bound.

Moogle: Hey! What's the big idea, kupo!

Lili: You can call us the Mog House Raiders. We would like to take a look at some of the Mog Houses you are taking care of.

Moogle: No way, kupo! Mog Houses are strictly off-limits to everyone except the residing adventurer. It's the law!

Paruda-Moruda casts Blind.

The moogle is blinded.

Paruda-Moruda: Then forget that you ever saw us.

Moogle: No, wait, kupo! Let's be more diplomatic! I can show you some screenshots... It's better than nothing, kupo.

Lili: Screenshots... I suppose I can live with that for today...

Paruda-Moruda: Go getaru them right now

Moogle: I'm still bound, kupo! (/cry)

Here come the Mog House Raiders!1

Moogle: The first screenshot shows the Mog House of a Mithran white mage from Windurst; let's call her "B."

Paruda-Moruda: Looks pretty tidy.

Lili: I like how the storage space and the bed have been separated by the folding screen. She also deserves high points for placing the bed in that location to get a clear view of the stars from the window.

Paruda-Moruda: There's a lot of furniture that radiates water energy. Moogle support is concentrated on fishing--the kind that helps you catch junk.

Moogle: Junk!? How could you say that! You can make a lot of money with that "junk," kupo!

Lili: Is it furniture with a lot of storage capacity that often has junk fishing support?

Paruda-Moruda: Correctaru. In the case of this room, the cabinet and coffer are big players.

Lili: Well, on the one hand, you want the storage space, and on the other, the Moghancement you receive is not really the stuff of dreams... Quite a dilemma.

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Moogle: Next up, we have a male Elvaan paladin's room in San d'Oria, kupo!

Paruda-Moruda: I don't really get a sense of "living" from this room.

Lili: Water jugs everywhere... They can be purchased quite cheaply in Rabao. But word is that they fetch a handsome price at the auction house at times, so it is not uncommon for people to hoard them--case in point.

Paruda-Moruda: Even though the San d'Orian flag generates a lot of fire energy, with this many water jugs it can't be anything but water support. I suppose that's fine for people who do synthesis with water crystals... Alchemists, maybe.

Lili: Each jug has a storage capacity of two, so this may actually not be a bad way of increasing storage space quickly and inexpensively. I, myself, find the damp ambience rather...intolerable.

Moogle: Not to worry, kupo! We Moogles make sure that the temperature and humidity in the rooms are always at a comfortable level.

Paruda-Moruda: Interesting, then, how you allow so many plants to withery-dithery during cultivation.

Moogle: Hey, that's not our fault!

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Moogle: Finally, we have here the room of a male Elvaan monk, once again in San d'Oria, kupo!
Lili: ...(silence)

Paruda-Moruda: So, that mound on the floor... What is that all about?

Lili: Chocobo bedding.

Paruda-Moruda: Ah... So we'll have to assume that's where he sleeps.

Lili: I cannot begin to fathom what sort of home life this person leads.

Paruda-Moruda: Basic storage setup is water jugs. I see one shelf way in the back, but the primary energy in this room is water. Let me just say, though, I seriously doubty-woubt that this monk had Moghancements in mind when he did the layout.

Lili: Call me fussy, but I would say that putting hay in front of a fireplace goes beyond the realm of fire hazards.

Moogle: Moogles are always careful about fire safety, kupo! But we are a little worried about this room...

Paruda-Moruda: Maybe destructive layouts are a "guy thing."

Lili: May Altana help this man's poor neighbors when this room burns to the ground.

Paruda-Moruda: Is that it?

Moogle: Those are all the screenshots I have right now, kupo...

Lili: I must say I am surprised how different people's Mog Houses can be. I never thought I would encounter such variety.

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Moogle: You two are a little rough, but you sure do know a lot about Mog Houses. I'm impressed, kupo!

Lili: Well, we do call ourselves Mog House Raiders, despite the fact that this is our first raid.

Paruda-Moruda: There are just too many people who disregard elemental energy when they do their layouts. It's unconscionable.

Moogle: Don't worry, kupo! The moogles will assist them just the same...

Paruda-Moruda casts Warp II.

The moogle vanishes.

Lili: I would say that "moogle re-education" should be our first order of business.

Paruda-Moruda: Couldn't agree more. The path of the Mog House Raider lies lengthy-wengthy before us, my friend.

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Taken from: Vana'diel Tribune II Issue No. 03



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The Mog House Next Door
Chapters: Here come the Mog House Raiders! | The Flawless Layout | No Two Alike
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